Skeletons in the Closet
by KaylaW929
Summary: Lily Weasley's mother is in St. Mungo's, her father, Harry Potter, is absent and she lives with her aunt and uncle. All she ever wanted was some answers. What if someone had the answers all along?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer-Not mine.

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Ginny Weasley lay immobile in her bed, unable to move. She didn't know what was going on around her, she couldn't comprehend it anymore. Not after the effect of the spell which had been thrown at her. Her once fiery hair was now a bright white, caused from the strain and fear that had suddenly been sent at her. She didn't even know what her daughter looked like or what she sounded like. She never got a chance to fully meet her.

A year after her daughter was born Ginny was attacked at home, completely trapped without her wand close enough to fend off the wizards who had invaded her home. She never had a chance. The doctors said it was a true miracle they hadn't killed her.

Lily Weasley wished they had. Maybe then she wouldn't be forced to go and see her mother, the mother she never knew, the mother she never met. No one knew how much it hurt to sit next to the woman who you had inherited everything from and not be able to talk to her. Lily went every week to sit by her mother's bed and read to her from the paper. Deep down, she wished she didn't have to. She wished they had killed her because then it would be over. She wouldn't have to look at her mother every single week knowing that it would never change. Knowing that this was it, this was the rest of her life. Sitting by the mother she never knew, living with an aunt and uncle who were keeping something from her and a absent father who stopped in every once in a while when he could.

Her father hadn't even known that she born until after the attack when Lily was handed over to him. Ginny had never said anything to him. And now, thirteen years later, her daughter was still paying for it.

"Lily, are you ready?" a familiar voice asked from the doorway. Lily didn't have to turn to know it was her aunt standing there, her scarf tied tightly around her neck, a shopping bag in her hands, flowers sitting in the crook of her arm.

"Yeah," Lily whispered, "I'm ready." She stood up and looked down at her mother, watching the slow breaths that were coming out of her, wishing her eyes would focus on her. Wishing her mother would just snap out of it already. "Bye, mum." A slow, polite kiss landed on the soft, cold cheek of the woman laying in bed.

Hermione didn't say anything to Lily, she didn't because she knew how it always went. Lily wasn't in the mood to talk, she wasn't in the mood for conversation. She wouldn't be right again until Tuesday. Sometimes Hermione wondered why she went so much, why she went every weekend even though she was at Hogwarts, why she spent all her summer cooped up in the uninviting halls. She asked once and Lily had said simply, "If she wakes up, I want me to be the first thing she sees." Hermione knew it was futile to explain to this girl that her mother was never waking up, never coming back.

"Your dad wrote to you," Hermione offered, pulling the slim letter out of her pocket and handing it to her daughter. Lily weighed it, noticing the lightness of it.

"Not much to say," Lily commented softly and grasped her aunt's hand, just needing something to hold onto. Hermione pulled her niece closer and kissed the top of her head. Hermione herself didn't have a daughter. She had two fabulous sons, Nathan and Wyatt, both of them close to Lily's age.

"He wants to see you, you know," Hermione said as they stepped out into the sleeting rain. She glanced around and opened up her umbrella. "He wrote to me asking if I would ask you. He wants to meet up at Christmas."

"Maybe," Lily answered, holding onto the handle of the umbrella for her aunt. She pretended she didn't care but she really, really did. Her father was the last link in her life. She had taken his eyes and his smile, that was according to her aunt.

Whenever Lily felt the moment was right, she would ask her aunt and uncle about what her father was like and how he had been before the incident. She secretly loved hearing stories about her parent's love affair and how fate seemed to push them together only to pull them apart. It was quite like Romeo & Juliet, only with one small change. Her mother didn't die, her father didn't die. They both went insane.

Her father never talked about her mother, ever. In all of Lily's memories Harry had never once said anything about her. He didn't have any pictures out of her, he never even acted as though he knew her. To Lily's knowledge he never even went to see her. She didn't blame him, if she hadn't felt so damn guilty she would stop going also.

"So, what d'you say, hun? Can he come?" Hermione asked, hailing a cab that was going down the street.

"Only if he promises to actually show up this time," Lily mumbled more to herself than to her aunt. She couldn't help but remember the last time when he promised to show up for her birthday and either forgot or just found something better to do because all that showed up was Hedwig with a hefty package tied around her leg. "Yes, please," she repeated to her aunt just to make sure he actually got invited.

"I'm glad," Hermione replied. "Now, what do you say to lunch, huh? My treat." Hermione patted Lily's leg and gave the cabbie directions to a restaurant down the road.

Lily sighed and sat further back into the cab. She was going back to school in a few hours. It was a tradition she was afraid to break.

Go to school all week, work her arse off because there was nothing else to do, come back and visit her mother, leave and arrive back in school by two in the afternoon and finish her homework, then, if she had the time, she chatted with her mates and let them paint her nails or braid her hair.

"Now, Lily, you haven't told me what you want for Christmas," Hermione commented as she bit into her slice of pizza. Lily just shrugged and went into a deep thought.

"Maybe some books," Lily said, wondering what she actually wanted.

"I'm having too much influence on you," Hermione said with a sigh. "You don't really want a book. Tell me what you really want."

"A new diary," Lily decided. "I really want a new diary. My never ending pages ran out apparently and I've been writing down my entries on filler paper."

"A diary? You really just want a diary?" Hermione asked skeptically. "I'm going to go out and buy you a diary and you're going to be sorry you didn't ask for what you really wanted…Lily, what's up?"

"Nothing, aunt Hermione," Lily said with a forced laugh, "honestly, nothing. I really, really want a new diary."

"That's all you want?"

"Yes," Lily said with a smile. "A diary sounds smashing."

"Well," Hermione said, unconvinced, "alright. A diary it is." Lily smiled again and bent her head down to take a bite of her pizza. She was always bad at this type of thing. What she wanted she couldn't have. She wanted a real father who wasn't absent and bitter. She wanted a mother who wasn't lying in some hospital bed, unable to talk and interact with her. She wanted a real family and actual siblings and a house where she didn't feel out of place. She wanted a family who looked like her. She wanted to find the pieces to the puzzle that was her face and finally put them together. She just wanted what she deserved.

An hour later Hermione finally got up and paid the tab as Lily waited outside under the awning. She watched the people passing by, people who had their own secrets who had their own problems.

Maybe everyone's family wasn't perfect. Maybe every family had skeletons in their closets and maybe everyone hated where they came from. Maybe, maybe, maybe. Lily was sick of maybes. She wanted definite solid answers.

"Ready to go?" Hermione asked, waving her hand again to signal a cab.

"Yeah," Lily answered, tucking her arms under her jacket. "I'm ready."

They went home and she bid farewell to her uncle and grandmother who were sitting in the kitchen, which smelt like chicken soup and bread.

After fending off her grandmother's coaxing to stay for dinner, Lily traveled back traveled back to school circa floo.

"Bye, sweetie," Hermione whispered, kissing her forehead. "I'll see you next week."

"Bye, m-" Lily stopped herself just in time, taking a shuddering gulp and looking at Hermione. "Bye, aunt Hermione."  
It wasn't fair, Lily decided as she headed back to school, everyone else got parents. Why not her? Was it because of who her father was? Harry Potter, the boy destined to make his and everyone close to him's life a complete and utter mess. He was hell bent on keeping himself miserable, no matter how much it hurt everyone else around him. He, of course, blamed himself for what happened to Ginny. The funny thing was, so did his daughter.

Hermione watched Lily go back to school with a sinking heart. Lily, perfect Lily who never did anything bad and kept so strong throughout her entire life. Poor Lily, who was without a mother or a father. An unofficial orphan.

Hermione remembered exactly what it was like the day after the attack. She remembered Harry Potter coming back, white faced, red-eyed, his face stony and disbelieving. She remembered how Lupin sat him down and explained to him that Ginny was hurt in an attack. No, she wasn't going to be alright.

_The room was silent as everyone unintentionally listened to Lupin explain everything that had happened. Harry didn't move, didn't dare speak for fear of letting out a wail that was threatening to burst through his mouth. _

_Hermione stood by the mantel piece, grasping onto it with all her might. She herself found it hard to comprehend that Ginny, sweet, gorgeous Ginny was reduced to a vegetable laying in St. Mungo's next to the Longbottom's. It wasn't fair. _

"_Harry," Lupin said, his voice low and steady, "there was an attack." Hermione clenched her eyes shut and waited for what was to be said. _

"_What happened-Who's hurt? Is it-"_

"_Harry, Ginny-"_

"_What happened?" Harry's voice was rising with panic. "Remus, tell me what happened." Harry looked as though he might just stand up and leave if he didn't get an answer quickly. "Is she dead?" his voice cracked. _

"_No, Harry…she's alive and breathing," Lupin said. _

"_Well, then-"_

"_Harry, don't you understand? That's all she can do. She won't be the same Ginny. They don't think she's ever going to be able to talk or walk or really live again."_

"_But-"_

"_Harry, Ginny was put in a vegetated state last night, she won't be alright," Lupin's voice was breaking down and becoming more and more thick with restrained tears. _

_Harry sat still, unable to make sense of what Lupin was saying. It wasn't true, he concluded silently to himself. This is some sort of sick, demented joke that someone had thought of playing. However, Mrs. Weasley's racking sobs from the other room, the uneasy silence in the house told him he was wrong. _

"_Harry, there's something else…" Lupin said cautiously. Harry looked up, tears clouding his vision. "I don't know if she told you-"_

"_Told me what?" Harry asked. _

"_Hermione and Ron weren't sure, she never said-"_

"_Said what?"_

"_Harry…"_

"_Remus, what is it? Just tell me!" Harry bellowed, unable to keep his voice down. Things seemed to be slowly falling from his grasp. Just last night he was thinking of how great life was. Last night as Ginny was being tortured, he was celebrating his latest victory. _

_Ron walked into the room his arms holding something in a pink blanket. Harry turned around sharply at the footsteps and stared helplessly at the baby in Ron's arms. It took a full minute for it to sink in before Harry felt himself break down. _

"_No," he whispered to himself, thinking of the baby who was now left to him, the depressed mess on the couch. _

"_Harry, this is Lily," Ron said, offering the baby to Harry who was now sobbing uncontrollably into his hands. "Your daughter."_

"_No!" Harry cried, hopping up and pacing back and forth. He grabbed his hair in tufts and let out a wail before knocking a vase into the wall, hearing the smash. "How could she d-do this to me?" he bellowed sinking down to his knees, still sobbing. "How could she think I could go on without her? How could she expect me to d-do this?"_

_Hermione rushed over and hugged him fiercely, breaking down for the first time all day. They rocked back and forth, trying to take each other's pain off, just to make it easier to live. _

"_Harry," Hermione said, pulling him onto his knees. "Look at me." He looked up at her, his eyes filled with sad tears. "You are all this baby has now, don't you dare back out on her. You are her only family. Ginny left her to you."_

"_I can't," Harry sobbed. "I can't do this."_

"_Here," Ron offered, handing him the baby in his arms. Her dark red hair was in small, loose ringlets around her head. She looked at Harry with identical red eyes that shone in the light lamplight. _

"_No," Harry said weakly. _

"_Yes, Harry, yes," Ron said and shoved Lily into Harry's arms. "She needs her father now, Harry. She NEEDS you."_

_Harry finally took the baby and looked into her bright green eyes. He wondered if she knew, if she knew that her mother was gone and that he was her father. He wondered how she could take it. So many thoughts flew in and out of his mind as he looked at the baby. _

"_I need to get back," Harry mumbled, standing up and handing the baby back to Hermione. His eyes were no longer sad, but a furry that Hermione had never seen him possess. "I'll write to you." He left with a pop, leaving Hermione and Ron standing in the living room, holding Lily. _

_He came back four years later and told Ron and Hermione that he couldn't take care of Lily, it was too hard what with all the traveling he did. They understood and offered to take her in, saying that he could come and get her whenever he felt he was ready. They had already become attached to her, treating her as their own. It was a simple transition from temporary living to full time living there. _

_Just before he left, Harry handed Lily something. _

"_C'mere," he said to her. She slowly edged over to him and glanced at his identical green eyes, registering some familiarity. "Do you know who I am?"_

_Lily nodded. "Aunt Hermione says you're my dad."_

"_That's right," Harry agreed. He took out a picture and handed it to Lily. "Do you know who that is?" _

_Lily nodded again. "That's my mum. She's really sick, that's why she doesn't talk back to me." Harry tried his best not to choke up at the child's words. _

"_I have to go away again," Harry said to the child in front of him, "do you think you can live here? With your aunt and uncle?" Lily frowned. _

"_Don't you like me?" she asked in a small voice. _

"_Of course I do," Harry whispered, now choking up. _

"_Then why don't you want to stay with me?"_

"_You wouldn't understand," Harry offered. _

"_Try me," she replied stubbornly. _

"_Because, it hurts. It hurts too much. You look too much like your mother and it really hurts me because I miss her so much," Harry whispered, pulling her in for a hug. "Can you be good and stay with your aunt and uncle?"_

_She nodded once again, trying not to pout. "Will you come back for my birthday?"_

"_You bet," Harry said and left again. "Here, have this. It was your mother's." Lily glanced down at the small locket with a G inscribed in it. "She wanted you to have it." _

_Lily wouldn't see him again for another year. _

Hermione sighed and walked back to the kitchen.

"Was it awful?" Ron asked.

"Yes, it always is," Hermione said with a sigh. "She needs her father, Ron. It would be so much easier with a father to talk to." She banged her fist onto the table and let out a long sigh, feeling her husband's hands on the back of her neck, kneading the tension out of her.

"He's coming back," Ron offered.  
"Well, I'm sure Lily will be so glad her father is making time for her," Hermione said sarcastically. Mrs. Weasley was silent for a moment.

"I think I'm going to go to the hospital before I head back home," she said, gathering up her things and placing them in her hands. "Kiss me." Ron and Hermione pecked her on the cheek and watched her leave. Moments later there was a knock on the floo.

"Who could that be?" Hermione mused, going over to the fireplace and tapping it with her wand. Harry came out, dusting himself off.

OoOoOoOoOoOo

Back at school, Lily headed back to her Common Room, feeling the sense of relief at being back. With the knowledge she wouldn't have to make this trip for another month.

On her way back she passed Colleen Malfoy who, as usual, made a snide comment that made Lily's hands clench around her wheely suitcase. With her temper underway, she continued on, not missing a beat.

She and Colleen had been enemies and always would be. Lily still couldn't put the comment she had made their first day in class away.

They had all been sitting in the Charms classroom waiting for tiny Flitwick to come in first day. Lily had been sitting by herself, trying not to look as nervous as she felt. And that's when she heard it.

"I heard she lives with her aunt and uncle because her parents travel too much," someone whispered to another girl with silvery hair.

"No, I heard her parents died," a brown haired girl said.

"Actually," the silver haired girl said, "she lives with her aunt and uncle because her mother's crazy and her father hates her." Lily clenched her eyes shut, breathing deeply. She didn't even expect that people would talk about her. They had no reason to. They knew Harry Potter better than she did.

"Why don't you crawl up in a hole and die, Colleen?" someone snarled, standing up and facing the three girls. Colleen scoffed.

"Oh, and are YOU going to make me?" she sneered.

"Yes, I am," the girl replied, jutting out her chin. "Don't you have better things to do rather than spread nasty rumors? I happen to personally know Lily, and I know that she does live with her father. I really thought everyone would know better than to believe stupid rumors."

Colleen's cheeks colored. "What ever you shape-shifting mutant." Seeing that nothing else was going to happen, the class went back to their own side conversations. The girl who had stood up for Lily slowly walked over and plopped down and sat next to her.

"You know, you didn't have to stick up for me," Lily started immediately. "I could have done it myself. She just caught me off guard. I have to keep remembering that people actually know my history."

"Oh, please, your 'history?'" the girl said. "Colleen is just angry because no one talks about her family anymore. You know, the evil, self-centered people who tried to kill the entire world. She was picking on me just last week at a party because I sneezed and my hair turned blue."

"I'm Lily," Lily said.

"Annie," the girl replied. "Annie Lupin."

"Oh, a Lupin, eh?" Lily asked. Annie nodded. "Well, just so you know. She was right."

"Who was?"

"Colleen. My father does hate me." Annie was going to protest but saw Lily's smile at thought the better of it. She didn't want to butt in.

Now, current time, Colleen still hated Lily and seemed to hate Annie even more. Not that either of them minded much, they both thought just as badly as Colleen.

"Fureak," Colleen hissed at Lily.

"Thanks, dear," Lily replied sarcastically.

Yup, it was good to be back.

A/N Please read and review.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer- Not Mine. Don't Own It.

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Lily sat with her arm against the window as the train dragged on. The Christmas break had come too soon in her opinion, too soon. She hated leaving the castle, a place where she never once felt out of place. At home, she didn't look quite right, she wasn't red enough and her hair was too sleek. She didn't have freckles, and the big green eyes immediately gave her away.

She's sitting alone because Annie had to stay back a day with her father and she would be going home tomorrow. So, for the six hour ride, Lily was alone. She liked it that way. It was quiet, she didn't have to worry about mindless chit chat. All she had to worry about was what she was going to say to her father. What was there to say? "Glad you finally showed up. Thanks, but you're about fourteen years too late, asshole."

Maybe.

Lily had dreams, morbid dreams, where she told her father just how much she hated him. He had hurt her in more ways then he would ever know. He had crushed her views on family, love, marriage. He had treated her with no more respect then he had treated a Death Eater. He was distant and cold at the best of times. He had changed. He was no longer the man described by uncle Ron and aunt Hermione. This man, this new, changed man was someone Lily didn't like at all.

Was it really her fault that her mother was gone? Was it her fault that he was stuck with a child? Was it her fault that she wanted to see him? Was it so wrong to want a family, a real family, when everyone else got one? Was it so bad to wish him gone, just like her mother?

Most kids she knew hated their fathers for leaving them. For Lily it was the complete opposite. She hated him for coming back into her life. For popping in and leaving without a thought. For bringing false hopes and promises waiting to be shattered. He was nothing but a pain, a pain that Lily wanted nothing more than to ease. She didn't know how to. She didn't know how to ease the pain in her heart, to fill the gaping hole inside of her that only her father could fill.

She used to think that today, it didn't matter what day, really, he would show up, tell her that her mother woke up and it was time. They would be a family. Everyday it was the same thought and every night it was the same disappointment. She knew how silly she was to think that it would ever happen. She heard the doctors. A comatose state is a step before death. Ginny was close enough to be gone mentally, just not physically.

Sometimes Lily wished they would come back, Bellatrix and the rest to finish Ginny off. She wished they would sneak in past the gates and the guards and the nurses and raise their wands in unison. To kill Ginny, to get rid of her pain and the pain she had caused. She wished she had the strength to do it, as bad and wrong as it seemed, she hated her mother for being alive. She wished she had the strength to live the life she was living. She just didn't.

The train jutted to a stop, shaking Lily from her morbid thoughts. She glanced up at the rain streaked windows and let out an audible sigh. She had to find her cousins and they would bring her to the car. Then she would see her father again.

Harry had arrived at the house last week, something that made Lily nervous. He had already been there a week, that meant he could be leaving any day now. It would probably be during Christmas day, just after desert. He'll mention a meeting earlier in the day, say he's got to dash, and be gone for months at a time. It was humiliation for Lily to sit there and smile, smile as though she didn't know he was lying. To pretend everyone in the room didn't know he was lying. To pretend that it wasn't pity in their eyes. To pretend he was really going somewhere instead of home. To pretend he didn't have that girlfriend no one was supposed to know about. Maybe Lily would meet her. Maybe she would get invited to the wedding. Maybe she would finally be fazed out and left for good. Maybe that was today.

"Lily!" Wyatt strode forward, a trunk trailing behind him. He smiled brightly at her and picked up her carrier bag. "Come on, Nathan's driving us this time. Dad's got the car waiting."

It was odd, how Wyatt and Nathan referred to Ron as her dad. It was true though, Lily decided as she followed Wyatt to the waiting car. It didn't matter that Harry was her biological father, Ron had raised her. Ron had been with her during muggle school when she was a stuffed apple in the play. Ron was there during the chicken pox. Ron was there when she got her period. Ron was there when she was happy and Ron was definitely there when she was sad. Genetics hardly matter because a father is someone who gives you genes but a dad is someone who raises you, who's there for you. Harry wasn't that.

"Nathan's driving?" Lily asked, fear suddenly ripping through her stomach. "Really?"

"Yeah," Wyatt said as they shared looks of unease. "Dad says that even if we do crash at a high speed the car will just bump us right back."

"Right," Lily replied tensely as they got close enough to be heard. "Hi, uncle Ron!" She hugged her uncle tightly, breathing in his smell, the smell of Ron Weasley. He smiled down at her and smoothed down her dark red hair. They were both hurting in their own ways.

"So, how was the train ride?" Ron asked, loading the trunks into the car. He hefted Lily's with a grunt and slid it into onto Nathan's.

"Great!" Wyatt said emphatically. "I played exploded snap with Nick and won seven galleons. I think I'm going to buy the dragon skin gloves you and mum refuse to buy me."

"The one's with the naked witch on the front?" Nathan asked, smirking at his younger brother. Wyatt scowled angrily as the car started up.

"Ready, Nate?" Ron asked, sliding into the front seat. He himself had to be taught by Hermione, who was never a good teacher. In fact, Lily had the immense pleasure in witnessing the event. It resulted in three mail box beheadings and a very frightened cat.

"Yeah," Nathan now looked slightly worried as he eyed the hundreds of people and cars. That was just in the parking lot. It would be tons harder on the road where people were going over five miles an hour. "So, I turn the key in the ignition."

"That's right," Ron encouraged as Nathan did so. Lily watched this all with slight unease as she too glanced around and saw at least four things that would be rather painful to slam into. The car began to rumble beneath them. "Now?"

"Er," Nathan said, pausing in his movements.

"You plan on driving in park?" Wyatt asked from behind his magazine.

"Shut up, Wyatt," Ron and Nathan said at the same time.

"I take the car out of park," Nathan replied, glaring into the rearview mirror. He placed his hand on the part and pulled it down until the orange color came off of the P. "And I place my foot gently on the gas pedal."

"Jeez," Wyatt muttered to Lily, "we're never gonna get home if this idiot is driving."

Nathan placed his foot down harder then intended and the car, which hadn't been in drive but reverse, jerked back violently. Lily let out a yelp and clutched her heart as they sped back, stopping just in time to miss the bike rack.

Wyatt and Lily exchanged glances and scrambled for their seatbelts. Nathan and Ron seemed slightly mollified by the entire backing up into people thing, and took a moment to breath.

"Are you ready now?" Ron asked, after fifteen.

"Yes," Nathan replied, placing it firmly in drive and setting off. His car stalled every few moments as he lost his nerve along the highway. Wyatt even seemed too afraid to speak as he watched muggle trucks longer then his house drive by.

Finally, after what seemed like an eternity and four prayers later, they arrived home. Lily couldn't help feeling immensely happy that she would never be again subjected to Nathan's horrible driving, nor would the rest of the world as he decided firmly that driving wasn't for him.

"But what if you have to?" Ron asked as they unloaded the car.

"I'll Apparate."

"What if you have a muggle girlfriend?"

"We'll floo."

"What if she hates magic and you're only pretending to be a muggle until you have an unbreakable marriage?"

"Shut up, Wyatt."

"There's my kiddies!" Hermione cried as they walked into the house, each lugging their trunks painfully behind them. "Give mummy a kiss!" Nathan and Wyatt grumbled as they did so, much to Lily's annoyance. If she had a mother, she wouldn't grumble when she asked for a kiss. Good Merlin these boys were selfish sometimes. "And my Lily, give me a kiss!" Hermione never knew what to call Lily. She wasn't her daughter but she was more then a niece. It was decided she would be My Lily.

"I let Nathan drive home," Ron said calmly as he placed his coat into the closet by the door. "He's not that bad, actually."

"The old woman on the bike begs to differ," Lily muttered to herself. Wyatt snorted while Nathan glared haughtily at her and stomped up to his room.

There was an uneasy silence that filtered into the house and it didn't take long for Lily to see why. There, sitting by the door, a familiar sight met her eyes. It was Harry's cloak. He always kept it by the door, a habit he didn't seem keen to break.

Lily sighed and wondered where he was. She figured she would soon find out, by the looks her aunt and uncle were giving each other she knew it would probably be within minutes, actually.

"Wyatt, why don't you go up to your room and unpack?" Hermione suggested. For once, Wyatt had nothing sarcastic or anything to contrary to say and headed up to his room. Lily bit the inside of her cheek as she heard Wyatt's steps go one door to far and into Nathan's room. They always talked about Lily when Harry was here. She always wanted to know what they said. It wasn't mean stuff, she knew. Her cousins weren't mean to her ever. She was afraid they pitied her.

"Er," Ron said, after getting a look from Hermione, "Lily, why don't you head on into the kitchen. Hermione and I are going to nap."

"Yeah, alright," Lily replied with a sigh. This was it. She was going to see her father for the first time in almost a year. He had missed her birthday, he had missed Easter. He had missed last Christmas and Valentines Day. He missed both Ron and Hermione's birthday and both of her cousin's.

The walk into the kitchen never seemed longer for Lily who had walked in here on many a times. For a girl who cared not for her figure nor her calorie intake, she was constantly snacking as much as Wyatt or Nathan. Now however, she wanted nothing more then to turn around, walk into her room and pretend Harry wasn't even in there. That he had forgotten to show up yet again.

Instead, she raised her chin to try and boost her confidence and walked straight into the room. He was sitting at the table reading the paper, drinking tea. She gave him a quick once over to see that yes, he was alright, he had no illness that kept him away, and that he hadn't died and forgot to tell her.

She cleared her throat, never one to speak first. It was up to him to say hello, to engage in conversation. On the not so rare occasions that they were both holding out for the other to speak, they just plain didn't speak. It was pretty much as simple as that. They went days not talking at all. They didn't ask for the other to pass the salt, they didn't say excuse me, they just pretended that the other one wasn't there.

Harry raised his head and met her gaze. He stood up, his frame towering over her slightly as he approached.

"Lily." It was a sentence, not a greeting. "How have you been?"

"Fine, thanks," she replied curtly. "And you?"

"Can't complain," Harry replied, also giving her the once over. "How's school going? I hear they allowed Snape his job back."

"Yes," Lily replied, suddenly grasping a sense of inspiration, "he's one of my favorite teachers, actually. Very interesting. He has really incredible stories." Harry's eyes flashed angrily and he nodded curtly.

"And Quidditch?" His tone was cool and Lily realized with a dart of satisfaction that Harry knew she only said it to tick him off.

"Fine."

"I used to play Quidditch myself," Harry commented off-handedly.

"I know," Lily replied, biting off her final comment, "And now we know exactly where the stick came from that has now lodged itself up your ass." She also saw that Harry knew she was thinking something close to what she just thought.

He was standing arms length from her. Close enough to talk quietly to each other, far enough away so they weren't actually forced into each other's bubbles. Harry liked his space and always had. Lily didn't have one single memory in which he had hugged her. Maybe he did. She just couldn't remember. It didn't matter, though. He was cold and probably bony.

"Sit," Harry suggested, waving to a seat at the far-end of the table, once again too far away. Lily sat as she was told, always doing as he said. "Now, how was the train ride?" He was back to reading the paper.

"It was fine," Lily said, finally ready to speak normally to him. "My friend Annie had to stay behind with her dad, so I didn't have her to sit with. I was sitting alone for a while until Wyatt stopped by for a while."

"Uh, huh," Harry replied vaguely, his eyes squinting down at something in print. "That can't be right," he muttered to himself. Lily felt a mixture of anger, frustration, hurt, sadness, bitterness and embarrassment as she realized he hadn't listened to anything she had just said.

"And then, because I was REALLY bored, I played strip poker with a group of seventh years. I lost, by the way."

"Great," Harry responded.

"Can you just-"

"What, dear?" Harry looked up at her. She bit down on her lip and then found herself talking loudly, very loudly.

"Will you put the paper down for one bloody moment and just look at me?" she cried, slamming her fist down onto the table. There was silence and she stared at her father, waiting for a reaction. He simply folded up the paper and looked up at her, his body language screaming condescendence.

"Alright, you have my full attention," he said, his voice light and almost sarcastic. He was still mad about what had happened that summer…about what she had said.

Lily just stared at him for a moment, sadness and anger seeping into her body, making it hard to stand up straight. It was making her legs shake and her hands turn into fists.

"No," she whispered after a moment, "really look at me."

She turned on her heel and left the room, turning to go up the stairs and nearly colliding with Nathan and Wyatt who were sitting on the chairs, obviously listening to everything that had just happened. Lily opened her mouth to say something, maybe a biting comment, but found words wouldn't come out. Her brain couldn't feel so much pain and humiliation AND make function properly.

Instead, she pushed past them and hurried up the stairs into her bedroom. She didn't slam her door, something that would most likely signal to her aunt and uncle that something had happened. This meeting was worse then all the other times. It all came back to the summer.

_Lily had been watching her father writing on his papers for a few moments before he finally spoke, acknowledging she was there. _

"_And what can I do for you?" _

_Lily just watched him for a moment before she found her voice. She finally said what she had been wondering her entire life. _

"_Do you miss her?" she whispered. _

"_Huh?" Harry asked, still writing. _

"_Do you miss her?" Lily asked loudly and clearly. _

"_Who?"_

"_Ginny." Harry's writing stopped abruptly. He didn't say anything. "Well?"_

_More silence. _

"_Because, really, what's the point in living if there isn't anyone to miss you when you're gone?" _

_With that she walked back into her room and packed, for Hermione would be showing up the next day to get her. She knew she had gone too far, pushed one too many buttons that time. She didn't care._

Lily didn't know how long she stayed in her room, trying with all her might to cool off steam. She heard people talking downstairs and knew any moment she was going to have to go down and talk to him again. Even if she didn't want too, she would have to do it. For Ginny.

A/N Please read and review.


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer-Not Mine. Don't Own It.

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It's Lily's thirteenth birthday. She glances around at the presents on the table and the clock all at once. He's going to be here this year, he promised. He said he was on his way and would be there soon. All she had to do now was sit and wait for him to show up._

"_Lily, come and blow out your candles! We're going to sing Happy Birthday," Hermione said from the kitchen. _

"_Can we wait until he gets here, auntie?" she asked, almost pleading. There's a slight hesitation from the kitchen and Lily knows that Hermione doubts Harry. _

"_Sure, darling, we'll wait until he gets here."_

_Lily is nervous. He isn't here yet and the day is almost over. He said eight hours ago that he would show up and be here…he promised her. _

"_Lily!" Nathan called from the living room. "There's a muggle phone call for you."_

"_Really?" she asked, poking her head into the room. Her cousin nodded and handed her the phone while she took it cautiously. "Hello?" There's crinkling on the line. "H-hello?"_

"_Lily?"_

_Harry. "Yes?"_

"_Listen, something-"_

"_Came up?" Lily suggested for him. There's a pause. _

"_Yeah, listen, I'm really-"_

"_Sorry?" Lily cut in. "Me too."_

"_Lily?" She's silent. "Lily?"_

"_What?"_

"_I sent a gift with Hedwig, she should be there soon." There's a voice in the background and Lily feels her hand clench around the phone in anger. _

"_Well, I suppose that makes up for you not being here?"_

"_Lily, I'm busy, something has arisen-"_

"_Let me guess what it was! You have someone there and can't take time out of your busy schedule of sitting on your ass to come over and celebrate your daughter's birthday! That is what has come up. That is why you can't come here. You don't want to. You found something else to do. I'm not on the top of your priority list. Fine. I get it. Have fun and I hope you don't get an STD." _

_The silence that follows her hand slamming down the receiver is deafening. She tries with all her might to stop the sob from coming, to stop the flow of tears before they get there. _

_He isn't coming, she told herself miserably, he bailed. Again. _

_Suddenly a voice floats into her mind. _

Did you really think he was coming anyways? When has he EVER shown up when he said he would? Been there when he said he would. This is just typical Harry.

_Still, the embarrassment hurts more then anything. She told everyone he was coming and he did it again. He back out on their plans, he stomped her hopes and ruined her birthday. How could she have been so foolish as to think he would have actually come? How could she have believed him?_

_It takes all her self-control, all her years of practice to turn around and walk back into the kitchen with a smile on her face. Her aunt looks up curiously; her uncle is washing the dishes. _

"_Let's cut the cake," she says, a traitorous wobble in her voice as her smile manages to stay intact. Hermione looks up, anger and pity filling her eyes at once. _

"_Alright, Ron go get Wyatt and Nathan."_

"_Alright," Ron walks over to the doorway and calls for them. _

_They enter moments later, the promise of cake drawing them from their other activities. The song begins and she stares into the flames, watching them flickers in the darkness. Then, just as though she's sucking in the breath she needs, she blows out of the candles, wishing the flames were Harry. _

_The cake is cut, the presents are open and there's a tap and the window. Lily looks around and sees a white owl sitting on the window box, looking beseechingly in at them, telling them to open up and let her in. _

"_Whose owl is that?" Nathan asks, gesturing to Hedwig. _

"_Harry's," Lily replies dryly, walking over and opening the window for the owl. She takes the package into her hands, feeling its weight weigh her down slightly. "If you don't mind, I'm a little partied out-"_

"_Of course, you go up and rest," Hermione says instantly. _

"_Yeah, me too," Wyatt says, faking a yawn. _

"_No, you can help finish the dishes." _

_Once in her room Lily can finally cry. She finally lets out a silent sob and tosses the package onto the bed angrily, wishing she had the strength to stomp it out of her life. She yanks the clips she specially put into her hair our and tosses them away. She yanks off Ginny's necklace, tossing it onto her vanity. _

_Her body is pulsing angrily, screaming pain. She ignores it and opens the present from Harry, wondering what could make up for his absence. She stares at the art set she desperately wanted but knew was too much money. He had bought it for her, probably this morning. He probably didn't even put any thought into it, or most likely just searched her mind when she wasn't noticing. _

_As she always did, she strode over to the loose floorboard under the rug and stuffed the present down there, next to all the others she wouldn't use. She was almost back at her desk before she spun around and gathered all the things up to look at them. _

_Books she wanted, clothes she desired, anything she had ever wanted he had gotten her. Who knows how many galleons spent? And all he ever had to do was show up. _

The dinner that night was awkward for many reasons. Lily refused to speak to anyone, still angry at her father; half wishing he would leave tonight.

"So, Harry, how's work?" Hermione asked coldly. She was furious that he had upset Lily, again.

"Fine," Harry replied smoothly, glaring over at her.

Lily swished her food around on her plate and heard her uncle Ron speak to Nathan, then to Wyatt and soon the rest of the Weasley's were talking to each other, leaving anyone with green eyes out of the conversation.

After dinner she helped her aunt Hermione clean up the mess. There was silence for a moment, Lily wasn't sure why. She had always been able to talk to her aunt as though she were her very own mother.

"I thought of something today and Harry agreed with me," Hermione ventured softly. Lily wondered what it could possibly be. "Maybe you could spend tomorrow at his house and then come back for Christmas Eve dinner."

"Tomorrow? Alone with him?" Lily asked dumbly, stopping all pretenses of actually working. "You really think that's a good idea?"

"You two need to get along," Hermione said, rounding on Lily and staring her straight in the eye. "Was it that makes it so hard for you to get along?"

"Hermione," Lily didn't bother with aunt, "sometimes I literally sit around all day wondering why we can't make it work and it hits me every time I see him. He doesn't want it to work. He's him and I'm me and nothing anyone does will ever change that. I really wonder what I ever did to make him so indifferent towards me and I just realize that he's miserable with everyone and until he cheers up or gets over whatever is keeping him down, he'll always be like that."

Silence.

"I thought maybe you could leave with him first thing in the morning," Hermione said, trying to hide that she was crying.

"Fine." Lily's places down the sponge and walked from the room, her hands shaking. She passes her father sitting in the den, reading a book that she's read dozens of times. He seems so at peace, so normal that only she knows what will happen when he looks up. His face will clear of any emotion and his eyes will cloud and it won't be Harry Potter anymore. It'll be her father who's staring back at her.

Before he can, she runs up to her room and flops down on the bed, wondering if she'll cry about what happened earlier. It doesn't happen; tears don't flow from her eyes. She's in luck tonight.

OoOoOoOoOoOoOoOoOo

The next morning she was woken early by her aunt who was trying to make sure she was ready for her long, long day. The sun was already up, shining brightly into her eyes and she wondered how she could have slept so late.

"Your dad is downstairs, waiting," Hermione said, kissing her forehead. "I love you My Lily."

Lily got up and wondered what she should wear today. Would he be introducing her to any of his colleagues? The thought makes her laugh for a moment. Ha! Harry Potter telling someone that he had a daughter? Where does she come up with this stuff?

Finally, she chooses to be casual with jeans and a sweater. It's warm enough outside so that's all she'll need, but she takes her cloak just in case.  
"Lily?" It's her aunt warning her Harry is getting testy.

Good, Lily thinks smugly, let him wait. I've been waiting my whole damn life.

However, she quickly gets down the stairs, her red hair swinging in braids around her face. Her father is standing there in front of her, looking as he always did. Cold and indifferent towards everyone. That is, except Ron and Hermione. He seemed to have a soft spot towards them.

"Ready?"

"Yes."

That would be their entire conversation on the ride to his home. He seemed to be quite averse to traveling with floo with her. It all came back to the time he lost her and she wound up in America because he gave her the wrong word. He even had the nerve to be angry with her, the one lost in another country at the age of eight.

They pulled up to his "mansion" and he punched in four numbers as the gates opened. There were four cars sitting in the driveway, one Lily didn't recognize.

"Did you get a new car?" she asked politely. Harry didn't answer and she turned to him, shocked to see his cheeks turning red. "It's pretty…shiny."

"Er, yes, well." Harry cleared his throat and stopped the car. Lily opened the door and waited for him to go further. He opened the grand doors and turned back to her, something close to excitement filling his eyes. "I want you to meet someone. Petra! Can you come down here?"

Lily was silent, looking at her father when she heard the clickity-click of heels coming down the tiled floor. A shriek of delight suddenly sounded off in the foyer, bouncing off the white walls and echoing.

"Harry! You didn't tell me you were bringing her here now! I would have done my hair." Lily glanced up, watching a woman with sleek black hair come down the stairs, a bright smile on the perfect, china doll face. Her blue eyes sparkled happily as she took in Lily with one swift glance. She took a deep breath and another smile lit up her face. "Hello, Lily. I'm Petra."

Complete and utter silence.

Petra glanced back at Harry almost worriedly, only to see him staring at Lily with a mixture of annoyance and anxiety. Lily is simply staring at the woman. Finally, she turns to Harry and desperately tries to keep her voice calm.

"This is why you took me here?" she asked, her voice remaining calm despite the earthquake shattering her nervous system.

"Yes, well, I thought you'd better meet sooner or later…what with what's happening," Harry said and suddenly looked scared. "Why don't we go sit down in the living room, eh?"

Lily found herself being led by Petra, much to her discomfort. She then found herself being squashed next to this same woman and across from Harry.

"Now, Lily, don't you worry about a thing. I am not trying to replace your mum. No worries there," Petra said breathlessly. "I want us to be close buddies."

_Not trying to replace your mother…What with what's happening…_

It hit Lily with a sudden bang and she felt her hands begin to shake again. Not with fear but with anger and embarrassment. She glanced up at her father's face and saw, for the first time in his entire life that he was smiling at Petra. He was finally smiling a wonderful smile. A smile that made him look ten years younger.

This woman would be her stepmother…her stepmother! She didn't look old enough to be her sister, for Merlin's sake. Lily looked her over again and felt another startling tingle as she saw the expanding bump rising from her stomach. She was pregnant. Her dad was going to be a dad with someone else.

"So, Lily, are you alright?" It was Harry's voice ripping her from the thoughts flashing in her mind. She glanced up at him, desperately wishing she had stayed in bed. Everything was happening too fast for her. Her father was getting married and it was to this woman who Lily had never met.

What did she care, though? She didn't know her father and had no claim over him. What did it matter if he married Petra? Why should she care?

_Because it's admitting that she's really gone, a voice whispered to her. It's admitting that Ginny is really gone and she's never coming back. It's admitting that Harry has finally decided to be a family with this woman, not Ginny, not you. It's admitting that he chose her. You don't mean enough to him._

"I…" Her voice was failing her. "I…"

"Yes?" Petra prompted.

"I need to pee, excuse me," she whispered and rushed from the room. She managed to get into the bathroom before the vomit that rippled throughout her finally erupted, landing in the basin of the toilet.

_I hate him! Her mind screamed angrily. I hate him, I hate him, I hate him! Why does he hate me so much? Why does he want to see me suffer? Why? Why? Why?_

"Lily?" There's a knock on the door and she can't quite seem to answer whoever it might be. "Lily, its dad." She stared at the door in absolute shock. 'Dad?' He's calling himself 'dad' now?

She found her voice, actually she found her scream.

"Dad?" she asked, opening the door?" Since when has it been dad? In all my life I don't remember you ever asking me to call you dad."

"Oh, come on! You've called me dad," Harry snapped, looking uncomfortable.

"No, I think when I was seven you asked me to call you Harry," she replied dryly. "Suddenly you want a relationship? Now of all times? Why? Why now?"

"I just-" He stopped. "I want to fix this thing between us. Tell me."

"Too late," she snarled. "You are too damn late. If you wanted to fix this thing between us you could have come back for me. If you want to fix this then grab yourself a time turner, go back in time and when you see yourself, tell him that I need my father! Tell him that all I ever wanted from you was your love and you couldn't even give me that! You cannot fix this, Harry. You have wasted too much time and we have just grown further and further apart and now we're strangers. You are miserable

"You pushed me out, you pushed aunt Hermione and Uncle Ron out, you pushed the Weasley's out and you pushed her out, and that, Harry Potter, is why you can not fix this. You weren't there for me when I needed you, when I wanted you. After she died you left me! You have never shown any love for me, any recognition that you're my father. You're constantly letting me down, never showing up when you say you're going to."

"Lily-"

"No, I don't want to hear it! I don't want to hear it!"

"Come on now," he said earnestly, looking back towards the den where Petra was sure to be sitting. He didn't want her to hear them.

"What did I ever do to you?" Lily whispered, making him turn and look at her. "What did I ever do to you to make you so cold towards me? Why do you hate me so much? WHAT DID I DO? JUST TELL ME SO I CAN FIX IT! Why do you hate me?" There was silence. He didn't seem to be able to speak and for the first time in her entire life, Lily saw tears in her father's eyes.

"I-"

"You keep pushing me out of your life; you keep me at arms length and never let me get close to you. Why? What is it about me that makes you so damn sad? Why was I never enough for you? Why? Just tell me so I know, please."

"Don't you understand?" His voice was suddenly ringing through the halls. "You-you are your mother's child, Lily. I look at you and all I see is her! And it hurts, alright? This right now hurts me! She wasn't supposed to leave me like this! It was agreed! I would go out and fight and die. She was supposed to wait for ME. She's gone and I can't get over it with a constant reminder of her staring at me! I couldn't bear to hold you and know that she was gone."

There was a shocked silence.

"That," Lily whispered, "has to be the DUMBEST THING I HAVE EVER HEARD!" He stared at her, shocked. "You need to grow up and realize that no one lives in Harry Potter world. Lately, the world has NOT REVOLVED AROUND YOU AND YOU'RE FEELINGS! You think it hurts to know she's gone? Try being her daughter!

"I sit by her bed every week wishing with all my might that she would either die or wake up because this medium isn't helping. My father abandoned me without a single thought and he constantly comes into my life and leaves without much thought AT ALL. I hate you, do you understand that? Either be my god damn father or just get out because I am sick and tired of picking up after your mess. I am sick of feeling like crap every day of my life!

"My mother is gone, my father is an asshole, and I am probably, very slowly going insane. So, for once in your life, step into my shoes and look around. All I ever wanted was a family. A real family with my parents who look like me and a dog or a cat. Instead, I've got my aunt and uncle and cousins who look NOTHING like me. They all have brown hair and blue eyes and what do I have? Dark red hair and green eyes. I don't even look like them!

"I've waited my entire life for you to-" she broke off, gasping for air in between her sobs, "GROW UP! And now you are. You're finally growing up and you're ready to get married and it's with HER! You are finally ready and it's with someone else. You're growing up and it isn't with me, it's with her and your new baby."

"Lily, please, just-"

"No, I don't want to talk to you! I don't want anything to do with you! Go and be someone else's dad!" She spun on her heel and went to the fireplace, shaking with anger. Her hand hit the pail and grasped onto some floo. "St. Mungo's!"

The whirling sensation prickled through her, her elbows banged into the walls. Finally, she came to a stop and familiar sounds met her waiting ears.

"Miss Weasley, what a pleasant surprise! We weren't expecting you for another week or so! Come on, I'll bring you to her room. She's doing well today, just in case you were wondering. Maybe making some progress."

"Elsa you've been telling me that for as long as I can remember. I know she's gone," Lily said, stepping into the room and seeing her mother's hair already. "I'll be fine now."

Elsa left and Lily slowly walked over to her mother, feeling nervous for the first time. Her mother's face was pale and gorgeous as always. She was the most beautiful woman Lily had ever seen in her entire life.

"Hey, mum," Lily whispered, sliding a chair over and sitting closer to her mother then she ever had. For the first time, Lily grasped down and reached for her mother's pale hand. It felt cold and almost like porcelain. "I know that we don't really talk much, but that's to be expected. You're not much of a talker." Lily let out a small laugh and then sobered up as she saw her mother's unmoving lips. "I went to see Harry today and it was the first time in three years that I've been to his house. He has a new girlfriend and she's pregnant with his child-" Lily burst into tears, her head resting down onto the bedspread. She sobbed freely now, knowing her mother would never tell. After a moment she was able to look up and glance at her mother again. "God, mum, why are you doing this to me? He's supposed to be with you! You weren't supposed to be here. You're too good for this bed. Just snap out of it, will you?" Nothing. "What do I have to do to wake you up, eh? Just-GOD! Tell me what I need to do to get you to snap out of it!" Still nothing. "Alright, fine! We'll just talk then."

Lily thought for a moment…what to talk about to her coma'd mother. Instead of talking, they sat in silence for hours, way until it got dark. Lily was feeling her eyes droop and realized with a start that she should have been home now. They would have been looking for her. She glanced down at her mother, wondering whether or not she should even talk to her anymore. Ginny was sleeping and always would be. She was on death's door.

"I have to go, mum," Lily said softly, kissing her mother's cheek. "I love you." She stopped and waited for a reaction. Almost impulsively she bent down. "I forgive you."

She left quickly, wondering when her mother would come out of her coma.

What Lily, or anyone knew, was that Ginny could hear and feel everything that was going on around her. She felt every touch. She heard every voice. She would be dead if they didn't feed her through a tube. She would be dead if Hermione and Ron hadn't fought so hard to keep her alive.

I love you too, Lily, Ginny though desperately. Please, get me out of this!

A/N Please read and review.


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